Recently however, I have been thinking about it a lot. Even talking about it more. Sharing my address to random people and sharing some posts with friends.
I've also been reading my blog. Yep, reading my own blog. Is that weird? I wonder if Britany Spears listens to her own albums on a Saturday night. Random thought? Moving on...
I remember the day my feelings towards my blog changed. It was a combination of "hate mail", "blank brain" and "what if's".
The hate mail was easy to fix - I blocked anyone and everyone before even reading their message. As soon as I received a message/email/text that made me question anything or change my mood in a negative way, I would stop reading and delete as fast as I could. And then block. I ain't got time for that.
However, I didn't realise that it did have an impact. I started questioning my blog. Questioning my writing. Questioning my readers.
And then asking "what if". A lot. What if someone takes this the wrong way... again. What if someone doesn't agree with me. What if someone doubts my intentions. I had many people dislike the content of my writing. Disliking me putting my family "out there". I came to the conclusion that in the end, they just weren't listening.
All of this resulted in "blank brain". I had forgotten how to write. I had forgotten what I wanted to say. I had forgotten my original intentions of this blog.
This is MY blog. My story. My words. And no one can question that. I won't let anyone question that. I can write about anything I want. THIS IS MY BLOG.
|This is me.|
I forgot how happy writing makes me. Like really happy.
If you don't like it, please delete me from your life. It's that simple. Press the delete button. I won't be engaging in the petty crap anymore.
My mental health depends on it.
Gosh it feels good to be writing again....