I almost had to walk away from my marriage last week. And by walk away, I mean tell Brett to walk away and sort himself out before returning. It just got all too much for me. Picking up the pieces our broken life and not cutting myself in the process.
made an emergency phone call to his shrink and when we see him this
week, I will be going and I will be demanding some drastic measures be
My husband is sick. Very sick. And in the process, I am getting sick.
week, I begged Brett to just leave and check himself into hospital. He
frequently uses myself and the kids as his excuse to not get help. "I
can't do that to you", he says. "It would be too much for you and the
kids for me to leave" he always says.
Screw that. If
he doesn't do something drastic soon, I know I will have no option but
to make myself and the kids my number one priority. I am spending far
too much time, pouring far too much of my energy into helping him. I am miserably failing at helping him and in
the process, I feel as though I am failing as a mother and as a woman.
Something has to give and this time it HAS to be him.
his medication isn't working anymore. For some reason or another. I
can't even tell you if it has ever worked. He told me that he has been
pretending, even to me, for so long and when I called him out on it, he
crumbled. Into a million pieces. Taking me with him. And I sobbed.
Harder than I have ever sobbed before.
I told him to
seek help. Drastic help this time. He said he didn't know what to do.
I gave him the step by step instructions and told him that our marriage
was now on the line.
Anyone that knows us in real
life, knows that we are a rock solid couple. Always have been. And we
always will be. If our marriage was to, in the end.... fail, it
wouldn't be because I don't love him.
It will be because all my hope has gone. I am not sure how much hope I still have left.
And the thing is... that this is all so easily fixed. I just can't fix it.
**Disclaimer - this is my raw, honest, open writing. It was also written in a raw moment. If I am to be completely honest, I would tell you that our marriage is 100% a-ok. I am ok. Brett is not, however and we are taking steps to figure it out. I did need to shake him silly for him to realise just how serious the situation is and for me to say that our marriage was on the line - meant that he knew how serious I was.
I will keep you posted about his appointment this week.