Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Getting my groove.

What a month.  A big, exhausting, extraordinary, life changing, soul searching month.

As you can see, I have had September off from my blog.  It wasn't my intention -  I have a million blog posts circling around in my head, however I have been struggling to wrap my head around the million of other things going on.

Firstly, my university course started.  To say I am lost is an understatement.  At this stage, the content bores me.  I know I have to push through this first "Orientation" unit.  But it really disinterests me.  Two weeks into the unit and I had one assignment and a three hour quiz due.  I stressed, put them off, stressed some more and eventually did them both with just a day to spare.  Turns out I shouldn't have worried.  I received a High Distinction and Distinction respectively and some awesome, confidence boosting remarks from my tutor.

Thing is, I am really struggling with finding the balance.  As regular readers of my blog know, I run a tight ship at home.  Routines are set in stone and our schedules are so automatic that throwing something as extensive as studying into the mix has been a real undertaking.  I am hoping that a natural pattern starts to emerge.

Secondly, Brett has been struggling.  He has an appointment next week with his Shrink to discuss where to go.  I struggle with how to help him.  I know that all these "changes" at home are not helping with his headspace at all (he has never been very accepting of change... even when he agrees with it wholeheartedly).   Consequently, the time I would normally sit down to write, I have been sitting quietly with him.  Not such a bad thing, but I really have missed my blog.

Thirdly, we had some very grievous news about one of our Reasons, which I am not going to get into here.  Not yet.  The point is that I have gone through the usual emotions when you get such information.  Denial, shock, guilt, anger, depression and I am at the upward turn right now.  We are trying to adjust our lives and work out how to address the "issue", now and in the future.  It has taken it's toll on the whole family.  I am sorry I can't give you any more information.  I one day hope to, but right now, it is just too raw.  

As you can see, with all of the above, along with the usual goings on of a large family, a baby girl turning TWO and the mother grief that comes with that major event, my September has almost been a write off.  Almost.

On a good note, I have had some wonderful adventures.  Two really fun Blogger events, some family adventures and the excitement side of my new Student/Writer life and I am one very happy girl.

I am starting to find my groove.

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8 comments:

  1. Big hugs to the changes going on in your life and also a big welcome to the "life of a student" - the family routine around study is something I battle with - a lot! When you find the secret to success - please share!!!! And yes, I know you will find it, 'cause you are clever like that!!

    Meg x

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  2. Lovely to see you back and I hope all of your family issues sort them selves out - sounds very heavy!
    You are a top mum and wife - and you will get through what ever is thrown your way!
    You can do it!
    Make sure you find time for you in all the madness too!
    xx Kylie Look

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  3. I know how you feel about 1 of your reasons. We have also had some sad news about our youngst child and have also been going through all these emotions. We have learnt to accept its what we have handed and we will adjust our lifes and handle it :) xxx

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  4. I hope the news can be shared soon- it can sometimes take a while to adjust and then things can look up as you move forward. If that is possible of course?

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    Replies
    1. Your a strong lady :) I hope you can find peace & love to help you along dealing with your hardship. Your little reasons are just adorable. x

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I am a Mama of Five. A wife to one. I believe in documenting life using stories. I love telling you mine and would love to hear yours.

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