I don't know where to start. I can't even remember when this started. Weeks? Months? Years? I am not sure.
I sit here sobbing. Uncontrollably.
I have watched myself sinking, but the last few days, I have finally hit the bottom. Not sure what to do anymore.
I don't eat. I don't sleep. I just... am. I keep myself busy.
I don't have depression. This I know. Yet I am lost. So very lost. And in a way trapped.
I am pulling away again. From my friends, from my husband, from my children. From the world. I have gone off the radar. I put on a brave brave face in front of people. Little do they know that the flood gates are only just holding. I scurry around praying that no one talks to me. I don't have the words and my emotions are cracking.
I am screaming inside for someone to look after me. Who is looking after me?
So much is going on in my life. So much more... that I will tell in time. I just have to find the words. And I guess the courage.
I have held back the tears for so long. But today, I sit here weeping.
Shit... I can't stop. I guess it is what I need.
I need to figure this out. And I need to do it now. For me. Now.