It started after I attended an event for a good friend and watched all her friends swoon over her. She had a tonne of people doing things for her. The whole event was planned and organised by friends. I was a little hurt that I wasn't included, as we are very close, and was even more hurt when she said that she didn't want to bother me as "She thought I had enough on my plate".
I am warning you all now...
Do not EVER use the fact that I have a large family as an excuse not to include me. I am not an invalid. My kids are not challanging. I can, and more to the point, I WANT to help. I want to be included. I NEED to be included.
A week later, I realise I have more friends than I thought, however, I have really started to think about each and every single person in my life, and wonder...
I have always had a hard time making and keeping friends. In primary school, I was a bit of a loaner. I remember back as early as year 4, not being in any particular cliquey group. I was always the wandering friend. I was friends with everyone and could just sit and have lunch with whomever... even the boys. It wasn't until late highschool that I started to realise that no one else was like that. I see the cliquey groups are still tight now... 20 years after highschool has finished!
In year 11, I had a steady boyfriend whom I would spend all my spare time with. If I wasn't sleeping or working, I was with him. And we had loads of fun. We were together for 3 years. From the ages 16-18.
I started working in the family business at 18 years old and even then I didn't make real friends. I would watch as all the other girls would organise regular dinner dates and I would never be invited. I never really understood why.
I then met Brett and the whirlwind romance began. Brett and I spent a little time exploring the nightlife scene. I did love going out to nightclubs and parties... but I guess I grew up faster than most, so I wasn't interested in that life for long. We then started a family... an finding friends was even harder, as everyone my age, was still young and free.
These days Facebook and the works has changed the dynamic of a friend. Anyone and everyone can be your "friend". I think we are too quick to put people in the friend basket and why are we surprised when the "friendship" goes south?
I did a "Facebook Friendship Audit" and even though it was all in good fun, I am not surprised by the results. I mean seriously...I don't really think I have 171 friends.
I think that facebook has made it far to easy to catch up with people. I mean, with the click of a few keys, you have had a conversation or even gone through some photos and caught up with months of someones life.
Friendship is a sacred thing and facebook is ruining the value of a friendship.
What happened to sitting down with a girlfriend while the kids run wild, us drinking coffee and talking about your deepest, darkest secrets. How many of my "friends" really know me? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? What my regrets are in life? What my dreams are?
I have learnt 3 things in the past week.
1. I am still the same girl as I was back in school. I am still the wandering friend. I am friends with a lot of the mums at school but I see the cliquey groups forming. I am not in one. The main thing I have learn about this though, is that it is OK!
2. I am not alone, but I am lonely. I am craving some contact with the outside world. I can go weeks with only seeing friends at school drop offs/pickups. I need to get out more. Reach out more. Connect more.
3. My husband and the love of my life... he is my Best Friend.