Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Forming new habits

For me... My eating is a habit. I was talking to a good friend yesterday about my addiction to sweets, and after she told me a personal story of why she goes for the sweets, I concluded that I have no emotional attachment to sweets... Or food in general.

My good friend seems to disagree, saying that we all have emotional reasons for eating. However deep they are buried.

Maybe she is right.

Maybe.

But for now, I need to kick the habit.

I have a number of sweet habits.

Take today for example.

While Brett stays at home with 4 of the reasons, I take Lucy to ballet. After dropping Lucy off to ballet, I will drive to the end of the street to fill the car up with fuel. As I make my way to the counter to pay, I will not say no to any and every sweet bar along the way.

I will more times than often walk out with 2, 3 or 4 bars of chocolate.

I will make my way back to the ballet carpark, where I will sit, alone, in my car and scoff said chocolate bars.

I will hide the evidence and feel guilty.

For like, 5 minutes.

I will then go home, have a really healthy dinner, and make it seem like I deserve a treat with a cup of tea after the kids have gone to bed.

And by treat, I mean a block of kitkat.

A whole block.

I then question my constant headaches throughout the day and my state of withdrawal.

I am not in denial. I know what I am doing. I know that it is a reason why I am 10-15kgs over my ideal weight.

I don't eat enough during the day, eating a quick fix for a late lunch, then a healthy dinner, but loads of sweets from about 2pm onwards.

Cakes, biscuits, slices. But when you have a tiny slice each time... It doesn't seem like you are binging.

But eating 20 tiny pieces over the course of say, 2-3 hours, is binge eating!

They are my weakness.

So today... Even though I have tried before... Today, it stops.

I have never been so committed. It is like a lightbulb has gone off in my head.

I guess it has a lot of do with my thoughts the other day.

This time... I am serious.

And if I hide a slip up, which I won't, I am only hurting myself.

Today, after I dropped Lucy off at ballet, I ordered a new habit.

I am sitting in zarraffas, with my sugarless coffee, writing.

45 minutes of a new habit.

And guess what?

I feel like crap, but I feel FANTASTIC!

8 comments:

  1. Good in you for giving it a go! It won't be easy but it will be worth it. Think how awesome it will be when you can walk straight past all those chocolate bars without even noticing them! Feel free to join our Facebook support group. You'll find the link in the Sugar Crash page in my blog. Again, well done!

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  2. Exchanign bad habits for good ones is the key to dropping them I reckon! Starting, and getting through the first week or so is the hardest part!

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  3. Good for you Hun, good on you for taking charge to change things in your life and finding a newer, happier you in the process.

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  4. I think you've said it all in your title - "forming new habits". I've been doing a bit of this myself and acknowledging that what I've been doing that I have not liked is just simply a habit, has made it a bit easier to keep on the track that I want to be on. Inevitably we will steer off course at times, but I keep reminding myself to be aware and to make conscious decisions.
    Well done you! xo

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  5. How bizarre!! We must think along the same lines haha. My other half and I have just started cutting sugar out of our diet, today is day 1. I'm waiting for the headaches to begin :-(

    Good luck with the new habits!

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  6. Oh Danielle I know exactly what you mean. I've been the same for many years, I'd have a coffee in the morning then random rubbish as I got hungry and a super healthy dinner, then a treat because I deserved it.

    I've been doing the 12wbt not for weight loss but to get my head in order. It is working!

    Even just committing to eating a decent, filling breakfast every single day has changed so many of my other habits too.

    You can do it!!

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  7. Oh goodness... This is what I have been avoiding admitting to myself...

    I need to start those new habits now! Right now! But it's so damn hard!

    I will keep trying though :)

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  8. Just watch the caffeine my dear - it is just as hard to come off (& is just as much a powerful drug) as sugar... I know, I did it last year & it was HELL!
    Try decaf instead (& stop your scoffing at that suggestion too, I know you are LOL, it really isn't that bad if you drink the good stuff...)

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I am a Mama of Five. A wife to one. I believe in documenting life using stories. I love telling you mine and would love to hear yours.

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